1. Come Together Lennon’s classic rock anthem extols the virtues of a team gelling together as one. No pool, no ping pong. Just one.
2. Something In his epic ballad, Harrison pines for only a third-down conversion, a forced turnover, a 100-yard rushing game, perhaps a win … just, something.
3. Maxwell’s Silver Hammer An upbeat tune which belies the dark, eccentric lyrics that chronicle the exploits of a hammer-wielding serial killer? If that isn’t Troy Polamalu, I don’t know what is.
4. Oh, Darling “When you told me you didn’t need me anymore, I nearly broke down and died,” sings McCartney. Surely, Kevin Colbert sang the same tune after Mike Wallace’s departure.
5. Octopus’ Garden Ringo’s lone vocal contribution to the album. Kind of like Jason Worilds’ tackle. Note the singular.
6. I Want You A most unusual composition in which the usually sullen Lennon declares his love (some would argue lust) for projected top-five draft pick Jadeveon Clowney.
1. Here Comes the Sun Harrison may have been “the quiet one,” but in this acoustic classic, he delivers an unforgettably upbeat forecast for the future. Obviously, he’s alluding to Jarvis Jones and Le’Veon Bell.
2. Because “Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry,” Lennon chillingly sings. Simply substitute “Because the Steelers are 0-3 …” for “sky is blue.” You get the point.
3. You Never Give Me Your Money Composed in the midst of the band’s breakup, it painfully, yet powerfully, chronicles unrequited love … or contract negotiations with Emmanuel Sanders.
4. Sun King A beautiful three-part harmony with Lennon, McCartney and Harrison handling vocals, features improvised lyrics. Improvised? An apparent nod to Ben Roethlisberger and his rotating tackles on the offensive line.
5. Mean Mr. Mustard “Shaves in the dark trying to save paper” and “Always shouts out something obscene,” well, safe to say, Lennon foreshadows perpetually 5-o’clock-shadowed (and usually profane) offensive coordinator Todd Haley.
6. Polythene Pam Lennon once described his song as a “bit of crap,” as the song lasts a mere 1:12. That’s 3:42 longer than Maurkice Pouncey’s season. What has followed has been 175 minutes of a “bit of crap.”
7. She Came in Through the Bathroom Window McCartney’s confessional of a tryst with an obsessed fan: “She said she’d always been a dancer. She worked at 15 clubs a day.” Wow, Sweat Pea knows no shame.
8. Golden Slumbers Based on a childhood lullaby favored by McCartney’s sister, it’s a sweet ode to the time Isaac Redman served as the up-man on the opening kickoff in Cincinnati – and promptly got knocked out.
9. Carry That Weight The middle of McCartney’s masterpiece medley tells the tale of one running back (cough, Jonathan Dwyer) showing up to minicamp 35 pounds overweight.
10. The End “And in the end … the love you take, is equal to the love you make.” Indeed, a fond farewell to the Steelers careers of veterans Brett Keisel and Ryan Clark.